Tips For Battling Telemarketers

by **Mr. Valentine** » 11/ 19/ 07 2:07 pm

http://www.xs4all.nl/~egbg/counterscript.html

Just follow this anti-telemarketing counter-script.

by **EdS** » 11/ 19/ 07 2:15 pm

I do all kinds of pranks: I have caller ID so I can see who they are before I pick up... Speak to them in a fake European language:

"Sdronemuye!"
Uh..Hello, this is ... from.... etc."

"Skyopye! sdrandupe grovnik!"
Uh.. Is that mr Ed S.?"

"Svoondip."

"Do you speak English?"

"Svoondip! Grbozhnitz!"

[click]

Or I'll string them a long for about 45 minutes with a nonsense story, but only if I have time. Or, I'll answer their queries but with some outrageous answer... either I'm under house arrest, or I have poured concrete floors (if they are carpet cleaners) or I'll "reveal" that I'm a child molester/gun dealer/drug dealer, etc.

Fun for the whiole family!

by **Roy Wilson** » 11/ 19/ 07 2:21 pm

Good one for carpet cleaners is to ask if they can get blood stains out. They will always say tes. Then tell them to get over ASAP before the police show up.

by **Jason Kauppinen** » 11/ 19/ 07 2:49 pm

Patch them in to a three-way call with an elderly parent or grandparent and then gracefully exit the call. Everybody wins! /sarcasm

A good one would be to try to sell them something over the phone... like ask them to check out an ebay listing from their computer. Hehheheh.

by **Electric Gulag** » 11/ 19/ 07 3:04 pm

I used to hate when telemarketers phoned. Now, I love it. I have all kinds of fun with them. I pretend to be certain characters, try foreign accents, or I try to sell them something of mine in exchange for theirs, etc... It can be a barrel of laughs.

by **the keepa** » 12/ 20/ 08 11:44 pm

A few times when they asked if I was " Mr./or Mrs. Homeowner" , I would say " No!, I'm just another thief, a burglar passing through ".

by **Right-Wingnut** » 04/ 09/ 09 1:33 pm

While browsing the Misc Forum just now to initiate a thread, I saw the sticky for this thread and decided to post a link to Tom Mabe's marvellous recording of one of his telemarketing responses.

In case you are one of the half-dozen English speakers on the planet who hasn't heard it yet, it's absolutely priceless and can be found at:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=un_PjRXV5l8

by **Canadian Dad** » 04/ 09/ 09 9:56 pm

I don't really care. I signed up for a cell phone with a fine gentleman on the phone. He offered a good deal I honestly couldn't find even on the company's website.

As long as the person speaks English such that I can understand it, and is respectful, and is selling something not completely ridiculous, I am willing to listen to what they have to say.

People who worry about telemarketers think way too highly of themselves. How much is 45 seconds of your time really worth?

by **styky** » 04/ 09/ 09 10:29 pm

Canadian Dad wrote:I don't really care. I signed up for a cell phone with a fine gentleman on the phone. He offered a good deal I honestly couldn't find even on the company's website.

As long as the person speaks English such that I can understand it, and is respectful, and is selling something not completely ridiculous, I am willing to listen to what they have to say.

People who worry about telemarketers think way too highly of themselves. How much is 45 seconds of your time really worth?

In my elderly mothers case that 45 seconds has taken her for more than 5 grand last year alone. #-o

by **Red Green** » 04/ 09/ 09 10:48 pm

styky wrote:
Canadian Dad wrote:I don't really care. I signed up for a cell phone with a fine gentleman on the phone. He offered a good deal I honestly couldn't find even on the company's website.

As long as the person speaks English such that I can understand it, and is respectful, and is selling something not completely ridiculous, I am willing to listen to what they have to say.

People who worry about telemarketers think way too highly of themselves. How much is 45 seconds of your time really worth?

In my elderly mothers case that 45 seconds has taken her for more than 5 grand last year alone.

What did she get stuck with?

by **Canadian Dad** » 04/ 09/ 09 10:53 pm

styky wrote:
Canadian Dad wrote:I don't really care. I signed up for a cell phone with a fine gentleman on the phone. He offered a good deal I honestly couldn't find even on the company's website.

As long as the person speaks English such that I can understand it, and is respectful, and is selling something not completely ridiculous, I am willing to listen to what they have to say.

People who worry about telemarketers think way too highly of themselves. How much is 45 seconds of your time really worth?

In my elderly mothers case that 45 seconds has taken her for more than 5 grand last year alone.

I agree with you on that one. Going after the elderly like that is shameful. By the same token, though, if you can't trust yourself with that you should just get a private cellular phone and give the number out only to friends and family.

by **styky** » 04/ 09/ 09 11:54 pm

Red Green wrote:
styky wrote:
Canadian Dad wrote:I don't really care. I signed up for a cell phone with a fine gentleman on the phone. He offered a good deal I honestly couldn't find even on the company's website.

As long as the person speaks English such that I can understand it, and is respectful, and is selling something not completely ridiculous, I am willing to listen to what they have to say.

People who worry about telemarketers think way too highly of themselves. How much is 45 seconds of your time really worth?

In my elderly mothers case that 45 seconds has taken her for more than 5 grand last year alone.

What did she get stuck with?

Extended warranty on a car she hasn't driven in years. She had a cell phone plan and didn't even know what a cell was. Then theres the gas guys that keep signing her up. :roll:

I'd go on but my blood pressure says that's enough examples.

by **styky** » 05/ 05/ 09 11:29 am

Bogus telemarketers dupe Canadians with phoney surveys
By THE CANADIAN PRESS

Last Updated: 5th May 2009
TORONTO -- Bogus telemarketers posing as survey researchers hit up almost 40% of Canadians to buy something or donate money over the past year, a new poll suggests.

The Harris-Decima survey to be released today finds 38% of respondents complained of such illegal calls.

Under the Competition Act, telemarketers are obliged to identify their company and disclose the real purpose of the call at the beginning.

"Any attempt to sell or raise money following a survey request is a scam," Brendan Wycks, executive director of the Marketing and Research Intelligence Association, said yesterday.

Making sales or donation pitches under the guise of a survey is known as "sugging" for soliciting under the guise of interviewing, or "mugging" for marketing under the guise of interviewing.

The survey of 2,035 Canadians was done between Jan. 29 and Feb. 15 is said to be accurate to within 2.2 percentage points 19 times out of 20.

<a href=http://www.winnipegsun.com/news/canada/2009/05/05/9354276.html#/news/canada/2009/05/05/pf-9350666.html>source</a>

by **RedDog** » 05/ 05/ 09 11:35 am

Easy. Just don't answer it.

I hate phones and don't want to talk on them. People who know me know this and know to fire off an email or call at the office. The ten people on earth who matter will come up by name on my cell and I'll assume a near emergency and answer it. Any others know I won't answer it. I haven't had a land line for over a decade.

by **Fabulous Fred** » 05/ 05/ 09 11:35 am

This is by far the best practical joke I have ever seen played on a telemarketer.

The guy is scared out his mind.... :lol:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J5z4Vs26-TI

Tips For Battling Telemarketers

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